


She's Got A Good Hold On Me

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-29
Updated: 2011-07-29
Packaged: 2019-01-19 10:49:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12408906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived atUnknowable Room, a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onUnknowable Room collection profile.





	She's Got A Good Hold On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

_A/N: Originally written in February or March of 2005 - obviously not canon, since the last two books hadn't come out yet._

_DISCLAIMER: Characters, locations, and the game of Quidditch all belong to JK Rowling, Scholastic Books, Bloomsbury, etc. The song used is Dashboard Confessional's "Hold On," from their album The Swiss Army Romance._

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She sat in the library, studying for exams. She needed to receive higher scores than any of her brothers in order to make a name for herself in the family. I went to study for exams, but was called away from the library to once more go into battle with the psychopath who killed my parents and was now after me.

She threw herself, heart and soul, into excelling as a Chaser on the Quidditch team, even going so far as to arrive at the pitch an hour before the rest of us on Saturday mornings to practice flying techniques. I floated above everyone else, yet still managed the highest number of Bludger, collision, and falling injuries in the history of the school.

She pulled as many practical jokes as she could, having learned from the best pranksters in the history of the school — her older twin brothers. Somehow, I was always blamed when things went wrong, and given a detention to boot.

She went around dating all of the boys that her older brother didn’t approve of; she claimed that he was too protective of her, and wanted her to remain a ‘genderless first year’ for the rest of her life. I went on dates with girls and ended up being smacked, dumped, or having beverages splashed in my face.

_She had a history of killing herself, I had a habit of dying._

Ginny and I got together at the perfect moment. I was at my wit’s end trying to think of a reason why I should even bother trying to defeat Voldemort. When Ginny entered my life as something other than my best friend’s younger sister, I was revitalized. We kept our relationship hidden from Ron, not wanting to anger him. Or at least, I didn’t want to anger him. I think that Ginny just wanted to avoid the notoriety that comes from dating ‘the famous Harry Potter.’

I think that I bored her sometimes, but when I asked she would tell me that I was ‘better than the alternative,’ whatever that meant. If Ron noticed anything, it was just the fact that Ginny and I seemed to hang out more often. He was often preoccupied — in an attempt to get Hermione to date him, he had decided to throw himself headfirst into his schoolwork. It was actually quite nice to have their attentions off of me for once.

So, Ginny and I would have broom races when the sun was out, snowball fights on frosty days, and games of chess in front of the fireplace. We settled into a comfortable pattern, and I thought we were happy.

_I think she gave me something to live for, I guess I helped her pass her time._

I guess that I fell in love with her. Seventh year came to an end, and I left for the Auror training program; she still had a year left to go. I wrote to her almost every day about my Auror training and how much I missed her. She wrote less often, but she was busy; she had her N.E.W.T.S. that year, was the new leader of the DA, and to top it off was the captain of the Quidditch team. We tried to get together on her Hogsmeade weekends, but it wasn’t always easy. Most of the time we only had enough time for a quick Butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks before I needed to Apparate back to work.

I was saving up money to buy her an engagement ring. I had more than enough in my vault at Gringotts, but I wanted to use money that I had earned. I was able to buy the ring right before her last Quidditch game before winter break. I decided to surprise her by taking the day off from work and watching the game.

I sat in the stands as a brisk wind blew across the pitch. There was nothing I wanted more than to go to Ginny and wrap my arms around her to protect her from the cold; yet, I had a plan, and I wanted it to be perfectly executed. That meant staying out of sight until she won. A win was inevitable; the Gryffindor house team was having a perfect season.

The game ended with, as predicted, a win for Gryffindor. Pulling my Invisibility Cloak even tighter around me, I ran through the crowds and down the stairs towards the locker rooms. When Ginny appeared, I would take of the cloak and propose to her. However, some things don’t go as planned.

When I got to the back of the pitch, I saw Ginny kissing Colin Creevey. I was taken aback; here I thought that she loved me too, but the entire time she had been seeing other people. Feeling lost and delirious, I staggered away from them; however, I tripped on an abandoned broomstick and fell with a thud. She turned around and saw me before I could cover myself again with the cloak.

“Here, Ginny…this is for you,”� I said, handing her the box as my eyes filled with tears. “I guess that you aren’t going to accept, but you should have it anyway.”� With that, I covered myself again and ran down the driveway to where I could Apparate back into my flat.

_I had a vision of seeing things straight, she had the heart of a liar._

I fell asleep immediately, and when I woke up in the morning, I had managed to convince myself that it had all been a horrible nightmare. Yet the small velvet box was no longer on my nightstand, and the ache in my heart was too strong to be the residue of a dream.

The next day her term ended. Instead of taking the train, she Apparated to my flat. She sat next to me on my bed and took my hands in hers. She claimed to have had no idea of how serious the relationship was for me. She had thought that I had just been dating her to pass the time last year. When Ginny realized that I was in no condition to talk to her, she stood from the bed, kissed my forehead, and left for her home. The look that she gave me as she gathered her things was one of confusion. She later told me that she had never expected things to go so far between us.

_Well I never saw her leaving me once, she never felt me beside her._

So, now I don’t know what to do about things. I still love Ginny, but I don’t know if I can trust her. I don’t know if she loves me. I want so badly for things to work between us, but she isn’t ready to commit.

I’ll never love anyone as much as I loved her; that’s why I told her to keep the ring. If she decides to marry me, I’ll be the happiest man alive. If she doesn’t want to get married — well, I can’t bring the ring back, I don’t want to give it to anyone else, and I don’t want it sitting around reminding me of the love I lost.

So, tomorrow night I’ll go to Christmas dinner at her family’s house and sit at the table next to her. I’ll see Hermione and Ron gazing at each other with love, and Molly and Arthur bickering comfortably. Then, I’ll be seated next to Ginny, and endure the scent of her perfume and the shine of her hair. I’ll have to try not to let my heart break while seeing her glimmering hazel eyes and listening to her bubbling laugh.

I hope she kills me quickly.

_And it’s cruel, but she’s got a good hold on me._


End file.
